


Madness

by ShadowFairy



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Implied Murder, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Murder, Mystery, Seungcheol!Bottom, Seungcheol!Top, Seungkwan!Bottom, Seungkwan!Top, Suspense, Yes I did it, kind of, switch - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 11:30:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12911019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowFairy/pseuds/ShadowFairy
Summary: They were sure where they wanted to be, where they wanted their relationship go, yet, the things got an unexpected turn and they had to deal with it.





	Madness

The sound of Seungkwan’s crying was close to driving Seungcheol mad but it wasn’t only that, the clock had been telling him it wasn’t even past midnight and the night have been feeling like an eternity already and there was still a long way to go. He took a deep breath and looked at Seungkwan, his hands were on his face, staining it, the finger marks on Seungkwan’s face made him look crazy as his eyes were bulging out of his eye socks. Seungcheol kneeled and took Seungkwan’s hands, with care, kissing the back of them.

“Babe,” Seungcheol said. “Everything’s gonna be okay, go, take a shower and I’ll take care of everything else.” Seungkwan moved his eyes to meet Seungcheol’s, it was a slow movement. The younger took its time, looking around before meeting eyes with Seungcheol. He looked at the old house, it had belonged to Seungcheol’s parents and it was his, he had been in there plenty of times before but that moment everything felt foreign to him.

“What are we gonna do?” Seungkwan asked and Seungcheol smiled at him, trying to clean his face but the stains smeared on his skin.

“We’ll gonna travel south for a while,” Seungcheol said and Seungkwan smiled. “You wanted to go to the beach, we can go now.” Seungkwan chuckled and Seungcheol stood up, he pulled Seungkwan up. He moved his hands to undress the younger, Seungkwan was trembling but Seungcheol kissed every bit of skin he could, reassuring the younger, telling him everything was good, even if it was a lie, but maybe if he kept repeating that lie, it could become true at some point. Maybe that way Seungcheol could believe it. “Go to the tub and take your time,” Seungcheol said placing a kiss on Seungkwan’s cheek, even when he stained himself. “As you like it baby boy.” Seungkwan smiled and walked. He couldn’t walk straight but he kept walking until he reached the bathroom door.

Seungkwan sat in a low chair in the bathroom where he was bathed by the water stream and rubbed every inch of his body, he rubbed his skin until it was bright red, the skin on his face was scratched and bleed a little but he felt better, he felt clean and walked to get in the tub. He rested his head on the rim and closed his eyes. Seungkwan heard a loud sound, a hit, a bang, many strenuous sounds and he started to cry again, the scratches on his face burn but he didn’t stop.

“Hyung,” Seungkwan cried, “Hyung!,” he kept crying louder and louder until the door opened abruptly by Seungcheol. The older was dirty, stained and when Seungkwan saw him he covered his face. “Go away, don’t come any closer!” Seungkwan yelled and Seungcheol stood in the same spot, watching his little lover cry, cry his heart out but he knew if he got any way closer to the younger it would get dangerous.

“Wait a bit,” Seungcheol said, “when I’m done, I’ll get in the tub with you.”

“It’s loud,” Seungkwan said, “can you put some music?”

Seungcheol smiled and laughed softly, “yeah, do you want to hear something in special?”

“No, just put something loud, something really loud.” Seungcheol nodded and turned around, taking the doorknob. “Don’t close the door.”

“Whatever you want the baby boy,” Seungcheol said playfully and Seungkwan blushed, giggling. Seungcheol turned around and walked away, it took a few minutes before Seungkwan could hear the loud pop music blasting from the other room and it was everything he heard, and everything he saw was the darkness when his eyes closed.

It wasn’t a kind dream but Seungkwan didn’t see anything, he felt his body trembling in fear, his shaking voice and the heat on his head, the adrenaline pumping on his veins, making it hard for him to keep on, and the fear got into every bone, frightening him. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t run and he cried, he cried until his head hurt and his throat burned.

“Baby boy,” Seungcheol whispered, caressing Seungkwan’s arm, slowly, kindly. Seungkwan opened his eyes, feeling everything was a dream and for that moment, he embraced it. He smiled at Seungcheol and pulled him in. The older grinned as he knew what his lover was planning, what he wanted. Seungkwan kissed him recklessly and violently. Seungcheol just answered the kiss, getting comfortable in the tub and pulling the younger closer.

“Fuck me,” Seungkwan hissed in between a kiss and Seungcheol compiled his wish. He lifted Seungkwan’s small frame, and he didn’t have to do anything else because the younger was always eager. Seungkwan took Seungcheol’s hard dick and positioned it between his cheeks. He let himself fall into it, carefully and the thickness rips his anus apart, it stung but Seungkwan wished that pain. He wanted to be hurt, he wanted to feel hurt, to live that pain. Bleed and cry. Seungkwan moved despite the pain, groaning loudly, even over the loud music. There wasn’t anything else he wanted the most in that moment than being filled by his lover and being kissed, loved. Yet, he wanted the complete opposite and he got both of those things.

When they were done, the music had already stopped, Seungkwan’s voice resonated in the whole place, full of pleasure, lost in it and with no desire to go back. Seungcheol carried him to his bed, to a bed he had been desiring to call it theirs but the wish would remain like that. As a wish. He covered with the wine colored sheet and walked out of his house to finish his task.

The night had been long and it would be even longer.

  
When Seungcheol and Seungkwan talked for the first time, it had already been a long night for Seungcheol. He had done his shift at the bar he worked in but his coworker faked a sickness so he had to cover for him. It was midnight and Seungcheol had still a long way to go to call it a night and go home and sleep. That night, Seungkwan was there. He was looking at the door, not waiting but expecting someone to show up. The tap on the table as he drank his dark beer told Seungcheol about that. He was scared. There was something else. He was scared, that was a thing but the expectant thing wasn't because he was scared but he was defiant. He was reckless and Seungcheol saw that at first sight but he was also soft and kind. His shift was long and it will be longer and he had to make it worthwhile. So he changed sides with his coworker. He had been serving beers the whole night while Seungcheol had been mixing drinks and he was barely feeling his arms or he said so. He walked towards him, at the end of the counter. Seungcheol looked at him. Seungkwan's frame was small compared to his but even when Seungcheol was bigger and muscular, there was something in him that made Seungcheol feel small. Feel, a little hopeless. Seungkwan was still soft.

"You look like you're waiting for someone," Seungcheol said making Seungkwan jump. Seungkwan had been lost, not aware of his surroundings. Seungkwan squinted and stared at Seungcheol, not trusting him. Seungcheol saw the small signs and he wouldn't try anything further and look or sound like a creep.

"I am but at the same, I am not," Seungkwan said and took the last drop of his beer. "Another please," he said slowly, softly but his voice had a demanding tone. He tried to hide it but he couldn't, it was stuck on him. Seungcheol liked it. Seungcheol handed it to him. "The house doesn't invite?" Seungkwan asked with a smirk.

"This isn't a movie," Seungcheol said chuckling, "my boss will kill me if I give drinks for free." Seungkwan laughed wholeheartedly and his laugh was warm and loud and Seungcheol love the sound of it.

“If you were trying to seduce me, you’re failing,” Seungkwan said playfully.

“The night is long and you have a beer, maybe I can win you over before you finish that drink,” Seungcheol said, smirking. Another customer called him over and he moved, doing his job as he always did. Seungkwan looked at him, he started, he watched every move and he got distracted. He didn’t look at the door. He was expecting someone to come but he didn’t want it. It had been a defiant thing what he did, the end would come if the person turned on in the place.

Seungkwan’s drink was now at the half and when Seungcheol glanced at him he swung it in the air playfully, making Seungcheol smirk. The older moved and leaned on the counter to reach Seungkwan, the boy didn’t even flinch, as if he was used to be approached that way.

“You just need to say it if you want me to do a move,” Seungcheol said, whispering in Seungkwan’s ear, brushing his lips -not intentionally- against Seungkwan’s ear. Seungkwan’s laugh resonated.

“You won,” Seungkwan said smiling brightly and widely.

“Choi Seungcheol,” Seungcheol said.

“Boo Seungkwan.”

The drink ended in two. Seungkwan drank only two bottles and waited for Seungcheol to end his shift. They had met before, they had seen each other before that night. It was a middle-sized town. It was small enough to everyone saw everyone else at least once in their life but not enough to have met everyone and had talked to each one. Seungkwan usually took his usual five bottles of beer in the same bar, Seungcheol had seen him a few times on his shift but the boy had never caught his attention until that moment. Until that night when the contradicting auras un Seungkwan had drawn him into him. Seungkwan wasn’t a boring fellow, he had been always loud and cheerful. This time he had been silent, mysterious and Seungcheol was drawn by those two things.

The things went to the point that night. Seungcheol had driven Seungkwan towards his house, an empty place, surrounded by woods and almost alone. The thought didn’t scare Seungkwan, no, it was the completely the opposite. He had been scared but that feeling faded away as they drove away from the city. He felt how Seungkwan relaxed on the passenger seat, looking at the trees and the smell of the lake hit his nose. Seungcheol parked in his driveway, he walked towards the door and opened it. Seungkwan stood still, his back leaned comfortably on the side of the car. He sensed that little nervous feeling on Seungcheol and made him feel in control and Seungkwan loved to be in control. The younger walked, moving his hips, the sight made Seungcheol chuckle. The older got in and closed the door behind him, he walked towards the old stereo, Seungkwan without even been told walked towards the living room, sitting on the second-hand couch. The music blasted and Seungkwan smiled at the sound of the music. Seungcheol was shy.

“The room will be better, don’t you think?”

Seungkwan stood, moving to Seungcheol, like hunting for his pray, he never thought on hunting, yet, he was there, with a pray he would surely enjoy his time with. Seungcheol walked towards Seungkwan, moving his arm around the younger’s waist to press his body closer to his and kissed him, a messy; nice kiss. Seungcheol moved without releasing the younger. He fell into the bed first and Seungkwan climbed after him, over him, not letting the older move.

“Do me,” Seungcheol said, Seungkwan stopped his movements, staring at him dumbfounded and laughed, he let out a loud, simple laugh. Seungcheol was everything. Manly, kind and unafraid. His body could define him but he didn’t let it define him.

“Course,” Seungkwan answered and kissed him once again.

Seungcheol expected it to be a one-night thing but wished it could be more. Seungkwan thought it could be more and wanted it to be more. They were right, they repeated it every week. The flirting, the acting and the sex, always versatile about that. Soon, they fell in love. It was something they felt from the beginning, the attraction that grew and that little bit that kept them glued together. The things weren’t as easy as they tried to make it. No matter how much they craved to be with each other.

Seungcheol’s shift was about to end when Seungkwan got inside the bar. Their routine changed from a weekly hook up to every other day hook up. Seungkwan glanced at him but not in the way he always did; that flirty look and that smirk that melted Seungcheol. Seungkwan glanced at Seungcheol’s way, his eyes drawn what he had seen in them the night everything began. Fear, yet a little glint of a challenge, as if he was a mischievous kid. He saw him walk towards a boy, the other moved to hold Seungkwan by the waist and Seungkwan just looked back at Seungcheol with a pair of sad eyes. Screaming for help but at the same they were telling him, he loved the game. Seungkwan looked back at the boy, faking laugh, Seungcheol knew at that time the sound of Seungkwan’s laugh and that sound wasn’t even close to it. Seungkwan moved and kissed the men, a full kiss but empty in every other way. Seungcheol didn’t feel hurt, he felt pity towards Seungkwan and the little game of his.

“You knew it,” Seungkwan said as he cuddled on Seungcheol’s chest, moving to place his chin in it to look at him, to look at Seungcheol’s chin.

“I kind of figured it out,” Seungcheol said, “I’m not angry about it.”

“I kind of knew that,” Seungkwan chuckled and moved to kiss Seungcheol’s chest. “I wouldn’t be here if you were angry about it.”

“I might only want to get laid,” Seungcheol said and Seungkwan hit him playfully.

“I know you,” Seungkwan said slowly. “You wouldn’t do things like that, you wouldn’t stay with someone if you didn’t love them.” Seungkwan moved to get close to Seungcheol’s face, a slight blush creeping on his cheeks. “I love you, I really do,” Seungkwan said solemnly as he moved to kiss Seungcheol. Not waiting for Seungcheol answer him. To say the same because Seungkwan knew it and he also knew that the thing that would come out from Seungcheol’s lips was a question. The question that has been drilling on his head.

Everything ended in the second round of the night and no one pronounced those words again.

There were always love when they did it, they always shared a few words after and sometimes, they sat on the porch and looked at the woods, holding a warm cup of coffee, Seungcheol’s was dark and Seungkwan’s had more milk and sugar than coffee. They didn’t talk, they stood beside each other and stared at the darkness in front of them, no words shared just the precious time when Seungkwan was unafraid, when he was free and calm, no silent screaming and no silent cries. There were the two of them and the warm coffee but nothing else. Seungcheol never asked what he wanted, he gave Seungkwan his time, his space and Seungkwan was glad of it. He wanted that space to be his, he wanted to be free and not think about anything else but he was never free and the thought was always there. The thought was there making feel scared of everything of that calm feeling to die and make the feeling around Seungcheol fade away and be left with nothing but his fears.

Seungkwan got up, still naked and feeling the cold wind against his skin, he took a blanket and covered his body, there was no thought of getting dressed, he wanted to find Seungcheol. The older was in the kitchen, making dinner for him. He was fully dressed. A pair of old jeans, a long-sleeved shirt and a jacket over him.

“Why don’t you turn the heater on?” Seungkwan asked as he sat on the kitchen table, waiting for the older to serve his food.

“I forgot,” Seungcheol said, chuckling. “We are leaving soon anyway, just get dressed.”

“Are you sure?” Seungkwan asked, Seungcheol turned to see him and he saw how Seungkwan’s lively personality died every second he missed to see him, every moment he wasn’t worthy to have such wonderful man beside him.

Seungcheol moved to kneel in front of Seungkwan, placing his hands on the younger face, caressing the skin. “Of course I’m sure,” Seungcheol said moving one of his hands to take Seungkwan’s. “I’m sure I want to do this because I want to stay with you.” Seungcheol kissed Sungkwan’s palm before he looked directly into Seungkwan’s eyes, “I’m sure because I love you Boo Seungkwan.” Seungkwan smiled, a little bitter smile but Seungcheol could see the little glimpse of happiness drawn on Seungkwan’s small eyes. “Now, decide if you want to get dressed or eat first,” Seungcheol said as he stood up to put the plate on the table.

“I’ll eat first,” Seungkwan said and he sat comfortably, the blanket still covering his body, making Seungkwan look smaller and cuter, Seungcheol moved to kiss his head and walked outside, followed by Seungkwan’s eyes. The younger didn’t stop to eat as he looked at the door how his lover worked. Seungkwan stood up letting the blanket hug him warmly and comfortably as he walked outside to meet his boyfriend. “What are we gonna do?” Seungkwan asked out loud. It was bright and the sun was over their heads but that didn’t matter, Seungcheol’s house was almost in the middle of the woods. It was surrounded by woods and the driveway into the house was about a kilometer away from the main road. “What’s the plan?” Seungkwan asked and Seungcheol turned to look at him. Seungkwan was leaning on the porch rails, his chest was showing and his face was drawing that little expression Seungcheol knew very well and what had driven him towards him in the first place so long ago.

“We are gonna go south, far away from here and get into the woods, maybe we can even go to the lake and see something around,” Seungcheol said with a smile, not his proudest smile but a smile that was there because Seungkwan was there and he was actually there, not lost or scared. Maybe they were scared but they were together and that made the thing a little bit less scary.

“It’s a great idea,” Seungkwan said. The younger boy smiled shyly. Seungcheol walked to get close to him and the younger leaned closer on the porch rails to be able to kiss Seungcheol. The older smiled widely in almost a childish way.

“You’ll get a cold,” Seungcheol said. “Go inside and get dressed, I’ll finish things here.” Seungkwan nodded and turned to walk inside but stopped.

“You know that you don’t need to hide it from me,” Seungkwan mumbled.

“I know,” Seungcheol said smiling sadly, “but I don’t want to keep you in this mess.”

Seungkwan turned his head to look at Seungcheol, “it was my mess, to begin with.” Seungcheol chuckled and nodded.

“Yes, it was your mess but I made it bigger.”

“We’ll gonna stick together,” Seungkwan said and walked inside the house.

The task took more time to Seungkwan to do than it ever did before. Not even when he got out in dates with Seungcheol and he stared himself at the reflection before deciding Seungcheol will love him any way he looked. He didn’t stare at his reflection but the empty bed. The bed they were leaving away and the bed where everything began. Where they journey, relationship and love began. He was standing, naked, looking at it, as if the world was mocking them. He had been ready to leave everything to be with Seungcheol but he was ready to leave everything and stay there, then, he was supposed to leave the comfort of their new found home. Seungkwan heard Seungcheol’s footsteps and moved from his spot to run for his suitcase, open it and take a few clothes from there. He didn’t do it fast enough and Seungcheol was greeted by Seungkwan’s naked back.

“I’m sorry,” Seungkwan said as he took his underwear and put it on.

“I feel it too,” Seungcheol said and Seungkwan turned to see the older staring at the empty bed. “We were ready, yet everything feels as if it was falling apart.”

“We’ll find our way back,” Sungkwan said as he put a shirt over his body. “Our way back to out comfort,” he finished making Seungcheol smile.

“This house shouldn’t mean anything more than what we have, yet it feels it weights our relationship,” Seungcheol said and Seungkwan smiled at the sound of his own words voiced by his lover.

“It will be over soon,” Seungkwan reassured as he got close to Seungcheol to take his hand. “We’ll end what I began and we’ll be free, he can go to the beach or to another country if we want it.”

“Get dressed and we’ll get going,” Seungcheol said moving to take Seungkwan’s face to kiss him. Seungkwan nodded and moved to get his jeans and close his suitcase.

“Take it,” Seungkwan said and he moved to get into his jeans. Seungcheol smiled and did as Seungkwan told him, taking the suitcase and left the room. Seungcheol was leaving the house that saw him grew and the house Seungcheol have seen getting old. Seungkwan looked at himself from the mirror one last time and put his shoes one before leaving the room. He met Seungcheol who was waiting for him beside the car.  
Seungkwan ignored him and hot into the car in an almost majestic manner. Seungcheol threw his cigarette and moved to get into the driver’s seat but Seungkwan got his hand.

“Will everything work out?” Seungkwan asked and Seungcheol just smiled.

“It has to work,” Seungcheol said but Seungkwan held him tighter.

“I love you,” Seungkwan said slowly, like a whisper. He felt guilty to feel love in such horrendous situation but he was there, feeling everything. Fear and everything else he could. Admiration and love. He even felt a little horny but it wasn’t enough. Seungkwan released the older and saw him walking to get into the driver’s seat.

There they journey began. Once again, like so many years ago, Seungcheol saw how Seungkwan’s worried faded away with the wind and with the city behind them and Seungcheol, once again, fell in love with him and with that single smile.

“Don’t you feel cheated on?” Seungkwan asked as he saw Seungcheol making his breakfast. Seungkwan was wearing Seungcheol’s flannel shirt. The older hummed and Seungkwan frowned. “Answer,” Seungkwan demanded, making Seungcheol chuckle and turn, holding the pan with one hand.

“No,” Seungcheol answered. It had been a month after Seungkwan’s public display of affection with his boyfriend and they have been keeping their relationship and sex the same way. Safe and purely regular. Seungcheol retook his task on making their breakfast.

“Why?” Seungkwan asked and Seungcheol could hear the faint childlike curiosity in the tone of his voice.

“I know some things,” Seungcheol said playfully.

“Don’t be like that,” Seungkwan whined and pouted even when he knew Seungcheol wasn’t looking at him.

“I know you don’t love him,” Seungcheol said a she turned off the stove and turned to look for the plates. Seungkwan didn’t say a word. “I know you like me and I know you can’t get away from him even if you want it.”

“I want to,” Seungkwan mumbled and Seungcheol stopped as he placed the plates on the table to look at him.

“You sure do,” Seungcheol said and move to take the pan and served the food on the plates.

“I do,” Seungkwan reassured. Seungcheol moved as he was filling his morning cup of coffee.

“You do but you won’t,” Seungcheol said and kissed Seungkwan’s head.

“Yeah,” Seungkwan said as he took his fork. “I won’t.”

“You love the game more than you love me.”

The memories were flowing as Seungkwan saw the threes going away. He felt the cold breeze and took a deep breath before he started to roll up the window.

“Turn on the heat,” Seungkwan commanded and Seungcheol agreed, moving as the younger pressed his forehead against the window. Seungcheol moved his hand to place it on Seungkwan’s knee making the younger look at him.

“Everything’s gonna be okay,” Seungcheol said squeezing Seungkwan’s knee before he moved his hand to take the wheel.

“Do you ever thought we were going to end like this?” Seungkwan asked, moving his body to sit straight.

“No,” Seungcheol said, “I never thought you would love me this much.” Seungkwan chuckled and moved to kiss him on the cheek. “We’ll stop in the next town.”

“How long is till then?” Seungkwan asked with a little smirk that made Seungcheol chuckle.

“Two hours,” Seungcheol answered. “Can you check on the map if there’s a gas station close?” Seungkwan moved to take his phone.

“Will this track us down?” Seungkwan asked as he checked the map, groaning a little because the mobile wasn’t working as good as it used to.

“Yes,” Seungcheol said. “Just to the point, we want to get followed around.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ll drive across the country for a while,” Seungcheol said. “Then, just then, leave our phones in a city we want to stay, drive a little far away and get rid of it.”

“I hope this work,” Seungkwan said.

“If we get careful enough it will be fine,” Seungcheol said. “Where it is?”

“Another ten miles away,” Seungkwan said. “Do you believe the fucking woods are making the things difficult?” Seungcheol laughed wholeheartedly and Seungkwan turned to look at him, his face drawn the worries and at the same, slight happiness. It was hope that everything would be okay and they could enjoy that journey.

“Good,” Seungcheol said in a breathe, “We might need more ice.”

Seungkwan’s hope ended the moment Seungcheol said those words. A remembrance of something that was hunting them down. Seungcheol noticed at the way Seungkwan held his phone and the way his hands shook.

“Don’t worry,” Seungcheol said. “It will end soon,” Seungcheol reassured. “Hang on with me for a little longer.”

Seungcheol drove in silence, he knew it was what Seungkwan was needing so far. Silence and some reassurance but Seungcheol couldn’t provide him reassurance about something he wasn’t even sure about himself. He could only give him silence until they got into the Gas Station.

“I’ll go inside and you’ll see around if there’s a path around here,” Seungcheol said as he drove into the gas station and parked. “Behind the store, look for the bathrooms and walk into the goods, carefully, follow the road without walking on it, one mile, no more.” Seungkwan nodded.

“How do I know?” Seungkwan asked and Seungcheol laughed. The boy looked at his wrist and saw his watch.

“Leave your phone here,” Seungcheol said as he took his watch off to put it on Seungkwan’s wrist. “Ten minutes, walk ten minutes and then come back., please never lose the road, if you don’t find anything it’s okay, we’ll deal with it.” Seungcheol leaned to kiss Seungkwan on the forehead. “Look for the cameras carefully, if you get caught on one and don’t go wherever you are supposed to, we are done.”Seungkwan nodded and Seungcheol moved to kiss him on the lips. “I love you.”

Seungkwan smiled and got off the car, he walked towards the back, being careful to not be seen or look suspicious at all but it was hard. He was scared and nervous. Seungcheol got into the store, walking into the aisles as he looked around to the cameras and took some snacks. Chips, cookies and a few cokes. His arms were full when he walked to the cashier.

“Do you have ice?” Seungcheol asked politely.

“Yes, in the back,” the cashier answered.

“I need two bags and a cooler, please.” The guy looked at Seungcheol before he looked at the items he was about to buy, looking, maybe for a pair of beers that could make him doubt of his intentions but he didn’t and the guy moved from behind the cashier and walked to the back of the store to get the ice. Seungcheol watched him walk away and turned to see the clock. He was worried something could happen to Seungkwan as it had been more than ten minutes but he saw him walk in. Shaking. He walked directly towards Seungcheol’s arms. “Is everything okay?”

“Half a mile,” Seungkwan whispered in his ear.

The cashier walked inside again with the items Seungcheol have asked for. He smiled to the cashier and looked at how Seungkwan walked again to the car.

“A packet of cigarettes,” Seungcheol said. “Whatever cheap will do.” Seungcheol smiled waiting for the packet, he paid and placed everything in the cooler and carried it back to the car, Seungkwan opened the door for him and he just put it on the back seat. The cigarettes were kept on his jeans. He got into the driver’s seat and took one cigarette. Seungkwan looked at him but said nothing, rolling down the window. Seungcheol chuckled and started to drive, the cigarette pressed between his lips.

The cigarette was half gone when he got into the pat and he followed it until he knew he was too deep into the woods, then he started to drive around the threes where he could. Seungkwan had his hands pressed into his laps. Seungcheol didn’t dare to say that everything will be okay. He took the cigarette and put it on the ashtray when he stopped the car and the engine, very deep in the woods, Seungkwan was unable to see the sky when he got out of the car. Seungcheol walked towards the back seat and started to take out stuff from the cooler.

“Help me with the trunk,” Seungcheol said as he ripped one of the ice bags open. Seungkwan walked to open the trunk and groaned.

“This fucking stinks,” Seungkwan hissed, Seungcheol laughed and moved from his spot to stand next to Seungkwan with a bag of ice in his hand.

“Yeah, that’s what the ice is for, make it little less stinky for a while,” Seungcheol said and leaned to kiss Seungkwan’s cheek. Seungkwan moved and looked at him. Seungcheol took the bag and started to smash it into the ground. Seungkwan took a step back and heard the sound of his ears, drumming, killing him inside. He walked away to get into the car and turned on the radio. The song wasn’t strong enough to hold back the sound Seungcheol was making and he cried until he hears everything stop. Seungcheol walked towards him and looked at him through the window gap and leaned on it. “Is everything okay Baby boy?”

Seungkwan turned to see him with red eyes, “I can handle it,” Seungkwan cried. “I can’t do it.”

“I’m gonna do it myself if you want,” Seungcheol said, Seungkwan turned to see him and shook his head.

“You can’t,” Seungkwan cried.

“I can and I will.”

Seungkwan moved to hug him, despite the uncomfortable position they kept it like that. Seungkwan cried and Seungcheol stayed there for him until the younger felt better and they could keep going moving forward. Until they could keep running away.

Seungkwan had been ready to leave everything behind. He had been ready for a long time. He had kept hidden his suitcases, full of his clothing and all the important stuff he needed. One day he would be brave enough to take that suitcase and run to Seungcheol, run to that place where he felt free and so in love. He stared at himself in the mirror of his shared room. Seungkwan saw a man that was scared of what he had been doing for years now. Not the relationship with Seungcheol or the sex with him, no, that had been amazing all the time and growing even more amazing every day. The thought about Seungcheol made his move against his will, he took the suitcase, took a jacket and walked out of the room, he pulled the suitcase to the living room, he saw the phone and the notepad beside it. The place had a good decoration. There were portraits of him with his boyfriend. Vessels and flowers, there was a room full of things but empty at the same. Seungcheol’s house was empty but it felt it was enough. Seungcheol put a picture of them in his living room. It was a picture Seungcheol carefully took of them by the lake. Seungcheol was looking at him as Seungkwan looked at the camera and even on that picture, Seungkwan could see how Seungcheol’s eyes sparkled. How his own eyes sparkled. They were madly in love.

Seungkwan pulled the suitcase and walked to the door but stopped to look at the notepad. Would it be a good idea to leave a note? He took a few seconds to think but the answer was no, he walked towards the door and it opened. He froze on the spot.

All that Seungkwan could remember was some yelling, everything went dark. The screaming resonated in his head. It went on and on. His legs moved fast as he could but he had never been an amazing runner, he wasn’t even close to being good. He fell, tangled on his own legs but he crawled a few steps before he felt a weight on his back but he kicked and fought back. A pair of hands clasped around his neck and he cried for air.

Seungkwan woke up, his hands stained with blood and the only thing in his mind was to call for Seungcheol. He cried his name in a whisper, a slight mumble.

“Is everything alright?” Seungkwan heard and turned to see Seungcheol driving beside him. It was deadly silent, Seungcheol liked to drive in silence, the older had a light up cigarette and he could even see how the ashes flew away from them and tried to follow it but stopped to see Seungcheol’s face, a small, kind face, upturned in fear.

Seungkwan tried to recall what had been happening but he could see just a little bit of it. The blood in his hands, the body on his living room and Seungcheol’s voice calling for him, no matter what, he heard that voice call him back into the real world where he drowned in fear. Every time he closed his eyes, in every blink, he saw it, the blood and the fear pierced his heart.

They have buried their phones a few towns away and they drove for a few days. Further away from everything.

“I love you,” Seungcheol said. “If I don’t come back in two days, go on away without me.” Seungkwan nodded and moved to hug him and then kiss him.

Seungkwan saw Seungcheol walk away from him and he saw him carry a cut up body in a cooler. The older boy looked back at him and Seungkwan looked straight at him and waited for him. He waited for him until he saw him coming back at him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I had this idea for a long time in my head when I was waiting for my mother to come out from a gas station store and a man parked beside us hitting a ice bag beside us. I liked the idea of someone smashing a body, cutting the body up and getting rid of it. I tried to have something close to being suspense and mystery feeling and I'm not sure if I did it well. I didn't want to write what exactly happened because it would take off the whole suspense feel of it, also, I didn't thought about something amazing or grudgesome enough to make it worth to be wrote or read at all but you know, I loved this work so much and I hope you like it too. It was a whole ride and I loved it.


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